Four years ago today, at exactly this time, I was standing in the front door of what had been my home, looking at the mounds of rubble that covered everything I had owned.

Today, I still ache for my losses. My signed first edition books, my photographs, love letters...the things which are irreplaceable and irretrievable.

Here I am in Austin Texas, still lost, still an exile. And it breaks my heart.

New Orleans was my life, the living extension of my soul. And I will never get that back. I may never truly have a home, ever again.

Some of my friends are still there, limping through life day to day, trying to maintain some fragment of the magic that the city always shared so gracefully.

Some of my friends are scattered across the country, the New Orleans Diaspora, scarred and isolated, just like me.

Some of my friends are dead, senselessly lost in the horror of murder which has become the daily existence in New Orleans.

My city is still dying by inches. I am still exiled and bleeding. Katrina never ended. Nothing will ever be the same.

Please spare a thought today for all of those who have died, all who are withering in the strange soils of exile, all of those who are broken past mending.

Someday, perhaps the nightmares will end. Someday, maybe I will feel alive again. But the one thing that I know in my heart is the old wisdom...

You can't go home again.

Gods bless New Orleans.

Wow! A post that has nothing to do with Iran! ;)

Lots of new readers, and some have said that while they appreciate all of the Iran stuff, they want to get to know me as well, so...

I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. I had a terrible, abusive childhood, but managed somehow to survive. In the process, I put my father in San Quentin, and managed to get a law changed in California. Some of the details are in older posts...if you're interested, feel free to search my archive.

I moved to New Orleans in 1998, and felt that I had finally come home. I was a naked bartender in the French Quarter for many years, had wonderful friends, and felt blessed every day just to be living in such a wonderful place.

Then, in 2005, Hurricane Katrina came to town. I was stranded in the city, lost everything, and spent nine days in hell. Some of my experiences can be found at hurricanegrrl.
( Read more... )